SHANGHAI

Some pics from our first night in China, which thanks to a 12 hour delay for Kyles flight was exceptionally long. Trying to find out if he'd sent us a message, we went in search of an internet cafe. We found it on the 3rd floor of a building at the very back of a giant deserted arcade. It was one of the creepiest experiences of my life, walking through a dead quiet arcade in the middle of the night thinking we must have fucked up the directions. When out of the corner of my eye I spotted a small child in his underwear run silently from behind one game to another, I was convinced that every Asian horror film I have ever seen was actually a documentary. Thankfully we eventually found the computers, and there were hundreds of them packed with smoking Chinese kids in the middle of the night, surrounded by enough garbage to tell alot of them had been there for awhile.
Our hotel was conveniently located on a street packed with "foot massage" parlours. Strange foot massage that you get a 2 AM from girls in lingerie.
Hello Kitty bridal boutique??? Seriously?
If there is one thing that really ruins a visit to a tower, it is those fucking ragamuffins.
In a two class system similar to what I remember from the Empire State building, you can pay the cheap price and get in the really long line you can see below that winds around half the building, or you can pay about twice the price and get in the no-wait express elevator. We chose the third option; pay the cheap price, hop a short barrier get right to the top and spend the extra time and money you saved on high altitude drinking. I also liked the glass bottomed floor, where one panel is roped off. I could barely contain myself from trying to find out what would happen if I stepped on it. Somehow I think in North America, whatever was wrong with that floor would mean the whole observation deck would be closed, and the safety not left up to an inpenetrable rope barrier.
The fantastic Shanghai tourist tunnel under the river. It must have cost millions to build, so I'm not sure why they spent a grand total of about $18 on the "effects". It was a bizzarre series of sections narrated by a booming english narration. Red lights on the wall and it is "MAGMA!!!!"...green streaks and it is "WARP SPEED!!!"...can't remember what it said when we passed the three inflatable arm waving things.
I remember standing outside the train station thinking "please don't let the guy with the bag of chickens have the bunk next to me on the overnight train"
All you can drink booze is not enough to make Chinese rap good.
Look at the pictures below and you never have to go see the chinese acrobats for yourself. What you see is what you get. Unfortunately pictures don't capture the bizarre choice of using the star wars sound track for about half the show. They even used the canteen music. When I zoomed in on the pics I got angry when I noticed all the hula hoops were connected. The fact that I'm sure there were plenty of people hurt practicing for the ball of motorcycles consoled me. But then I got sad when all the performers were in the lobby after the show pimping DVDs.